In other news, yesterday's Hova da Broka turned out to be a real dud. He blew us off!! Roommate waited for him for a half hour before leaving in a huff to go buy postcards for Flat Stanley (this is seriously the FUNNIEST kid project ever, coming from roommate's little adopted chinese cousin). After all of the "yous pimps, you need a pimp apartment", bro just up and bailed on us. Honestly, what a dick. We were disappointed until we met with a lovely broker with a lazy eye. We went out to look a places and BOOM put a deposit down on an apartment. This morning, however, we found out some high flalootin bougie people offered the ACTUAL asking price on the rent (seriously?) so we didn't get the apartment. We did, however, spend 2 hours in the broker's office filling out those godforsaken forms. Moving is such a pain in the ass! And now, as I type this roommate is at another apartment trying to decide if we should put an application in on that. I'm supposed to be sitting here drowning in excitement over my impending trip towards liver-failure, not gaining an ulcer from tryin gto make a decision about whether or not to take an apartment that I haven't even seen!
Lazy eyes won't let her even take a PICTURE of the room that would be mine and he wants us to put in an application before I see it! I just need a goddamn BlackBerry photo! [20 minutes later] Fuck it. We put an application in. This isn't scary or anything. I have a bone to pick with you New York City Real Estate Market...
a) Stop with the broker's fees...the LANDLORD should pay the broker, not the broke ass tenants. I'm sick of them. I paid over $2,000 18 months ago just so my broker could get a new pair of glasses? That's NG people NG
b) Why aren't dishwashers standard? Why do I have to feel like a dishwasher is the golden mecca of apartment deals and worth paying an extra $100 a month for! IT'S A DISHWASHER! (On that note, are garbage disposals actually illegal in NYC? Someone clarify, please?)
c) Is it so much to ask that there be windows that get actual AIR in every room? Apparently yes. Apparently big yes.
Now I'm going to relax and try and enjoy the three hours I have left here until I can drive uptown in Mom's minivan, RUN into this apartment, make sure it isn't god awful, and then hit the road for my five hour road trip. OH, and I made my mom find my childhood CD collection this morning to put in the car so that I can spend five hours in reminiscent 90's glory with the three girls in the car and ruin the life of the one guy. How? By playing endless Britney Spears circa 1998, and of course "Snowed In" the Hanson Christmas album!
Have a good weekend people, on Monday I'll be back with a full report on where I'm about to live and all of the disgusting buffalo chicken items I ingested over the weekend.