Okay, before I go force feed myself dinner and clean myself (no one likes a smelly comic), I just want to relay what just happened. I'm broke, so naturally I ordered myself a dress off of one of those sale sites (ideeli.com) and it came in the mail yesterday, but I wasn't here to sign for it, plus my buzzer is broken, I can't buzz anyone in, even though I hear the buzzes, and I live on the 5th floor of a walk-up, so how would I know anyway? So I left a post-it on the door before I went out for my run, just in case, saying "Dear UPS, The buzzer is broken and I can't buzz you in, so please buzz and I will come down to sign for my package, Thanks, 5N". So, of course, as soon as I got back from my run and was covered in sweat and standing around chugging tap water in my sports bra, the buzzer rings. I SPRINT into my room, grab a tshirt off of the floor, take the closest slip-on shoes out of the closet (girl looks good in running shorts and black flats, lemme tell you), and BOUND down the five flights of stairs just to retrieve my package. I felt really, really stupid in front of that UPS guy, who laughed at me. Good thing I didn't leave my keys in my apartment. And now I have a pretty new dress, that I cannot afford.
If anyone at all reads this before 9:00 pm, EST, tonight, say a little prayer for me, my bank account, and my stand up routine. Full report tomorrow.