Thursday, September 16, 2010

FreeDumb

In an effort to be a healthier, happier human being I've been trying to cut back on my drinking lately. It's not like I walk around with a Ketel 1 IV or anything, but I've been known to throw back my fair share of Malbec and I'm trying to turn it down a notch. Training for another half marathon, moving to the "skinniest city in America" (I made those quotes up, by the way, it just seemed right), and just generally trying to stop poison myself as often have led me to this decision. It was all going really well until last night. The problem I have is when the word "free" enters the mix. If its free I have to drink it. Rule #1, people, "never turn down free alcohol", or is that rule #3? Never waste alcohol is rule #1. I don't know, someone help me out with the rules, I have a hangover, I can't think.

I always used to silently make fun of my "older" friends when they'd complain about how being hungover stays with you longer as you get older, and I used to think that they were full of shit and trying to make excuses for the fact that they'd simply grown older and less fun. False. I recognized my breaking point last night, three free glasses of some delicious French, full-boded red. That was enough. That and the cheese plate and I should have been set. I was set. I was happy, buzzed and satiated. But, being the indulgent moron that I am, I headed downtown for dinner with friends. Yes, dinner. Another two bottles of red, a glass of moscato, a bowl of pasta, a chocolate souffle, and an after dinner rose at the wine bar down the street later I wanted to write an apologetic eulogy to my liver. 

On the upside, my cousin has bequeathed me the keys to her east village apartment for the next few days, so I'm back in my old "stomping ground". (God, I hate that phrase). On the downside, I've already locked myself out once. 

Oh man, I'm starting to feel like I may fall over. It's 5 pm and the hangover still ranks #1 on my list of priorities. Even a viewing of Bridget Jones' Diary and three episodes of the first season of The OC couldn't ease the pain. 

I'll be back on a better day. Excuse the shitty pun for a title. 
A

3 comments:

Randall said...

All my favorite people lock themselves out of their apartments. I'm taking this as a sign.

Eileen said...

I think you're referring to Eileen's Rules to a Happier Life (2010 edition):

#1. We do not waste FOOD.
#2. We do not waste alcohol.
#3. We never yell, unless we're yelling "duck!" or "fire!"
#4. We don't use violence...unless he's asking for it.
#5. Some tasks are just two-handed endeavors. In other words, we don't half-ass it.
#6. We get what we give. (The Tahsler Principle)

TbR said...

Oh my God, I feel your pain. I spent the whole of Saturday recovering from what I thought was a great night out. Turns out I was the only one drinking. I thought everyone was laughing because I was funny. No, they were laughing because they were sober and I was dancing around a cushion in front of the film they were trying to watch. Oh the shame. The shame, and the pain of a hangover.


And thus went my weekend. I used to be so hardcore...