A Little About the Birds and the Bees

Well, kids, we're on an adventure today! I signed on for that receptionist job at the doctor's office on the Upper East Side because the hours are booze and actor friendly (read: I didn't have to be here until 2 today!) Before arriving here I knew nothing about the position other than that it was a Doctor's office and the Doctor was a woman.
Back track. Lately I've been obsessed with finding a cure for my allergies. About three years ago, out of the blue, I started developing a whole slew of allergies: cats, pollen, etc, and each year they get way worse and last year a new allergy appeared: Claritin. Ummm, what does one do when they become allergic to allergy medicine? Well, I did the only thing I knew, I posed the question as my facebook status and got an answer. Honey. All my friends are so sick of me talking about this (and they make up 90% of my readers) so I'll just say that it really does work, and I'm obsessed with it. It is NOT the same though. I could use some long term medication that doesn't require ingesting extra calories or going on vacation with a large glass jar of honey.
So, back to this new assignment. The doctor is an allergist, so naturally my first thought was "ohmigod you totally need to ask her what to do about the Claritin and the constant itchy nose and ohmigod the HONEY!" but then I thought better of it and realized that I should probably prove that I'm not a totally incompetent employee first.
And then I looked for Madonna in the file cabinets. No, literally. The following GChat conversation explains what I've been doing with my time here:

Brianna:  omg what if its madonna's allergist

she lives on 81st

and park

WHAT IF YOU SEE MADONNA

start going through files

screw hipa

Brianna:  you know im not kidding even a little

me:  nope

im gonna look

i don't think so but i'll look

ciccone

Brianna:  is that her real last name

me:  yeah

no ciccone files

but i'll look under ritchie too

hahaha

Brianna:  also check m

me:  nada. im sure madonna gets all her allergies taken care of at the kabbalah centre

haha

Brianna:  true

i have no basis for this except that she lives close

 me:  right

if i was madonna i wouldn't have allergies

just saying, she can get rid of that shit

she's madonna

And now, photographic proof that I am indeed wearing a white lab coat (something that I never thought would happen again after getting a C- in high school Chemistry and opting to not take a science class ever. Ever again.)

Even with the fat face in that photo (I look I'm imitating Marlon Brando): awesomely hot lab coat.

A