I was going to write a post today about the fantastic play I saw last night at The Public Theatre, but then today provided a significant amount of blog fodder so I'll save the "review" of In The Wake for tomorrow.
For some reason the universe [the universe, God, whatever you choose to believe. No judgement] decided that women should be blessed with the ability to grow new life inside them, to carry life and then give birth. For some reason, going along with that we also have to spend a good portion of each month wondering why we've been cutting the edges off of someone else's carrot cake and eating it straight off of the knife, or crying in an ATM vestibule, or wondering where all of the cheese cubes disappeared to. I don't mean to rail against my own gender, but I'm really starting to understand the argument against women in power. I know, I know that's the worst thing any forward-thinking, liberal minded person could say, but I'm serious here. Somewhere between the ATM crying, the hour and a half adventure of finding a parking spot, and spilling a whole Venti "Calm" tea at Starbucks I took a long moment to think about what the outcome would be if I had to make a decision that impacted more than just the lady who's leather coat got boiling water on it. The results were clear, I'd sit down, put my head in my hands and say, "I don't effing care about Social Security right now, I just need a nap. Please, [whimper], please, [whine] all of you just leave this oblong office".
Only now, after re-reading this do I realize the error of my thinking. Women are not necessarily ill-equipped to make proper world leaders, I am. My emotions are akin to one of those chinese yo-yos that you can swing above your head [well, you probably can't, but that's okay, I can't either] right now. Yes this has to do with the curse of womanhood [if I weren't so self-involved and curious I'd sell my–Jewish– eggs a few times and then tie the shit out of my tubes and end the curse forever, but predictably, I'd like to pro-create and pop out some monsters and see if they have my eyes. sigh], but it also has to do with the fact that I'm finally leaving New York. Yes, the departure date is set, the packing has begun, the cheap ass SUV that was purchased on eBay has been fixed, and I'll be driving across this nation o' ours come November 1st. My goodbye party is this Saturday night (of course I'm throwing it for myself, do you really think I trust someone else with these fragile affairs?) and I've been walking around like a tourist staring up at buildings and trying to be prematurely nostalgic, so I think its finally time.
Now, if you'll excuse me, there's an empty container of cheese cubes that I should go cry into.